Thursday, November 5, 2009

Tasks and Parents

Woke up before 9:00 - yay. I was surprised because i went to sleep a lot later than i wanted, didn't fall asleep immediately, and it wasn't even the water trick that did it (tried it - either not enough water, or enough time in bed). That puts total sleep hours at <6, but probably not something that a coffee later in the day can't take care of. Gotta hit the sack earlier tonight though.

Just had a run of sudden assplosion myself. Wtf. Long-distance contagious bug! But maybe it was to get stuff running. I'd only been averaging one small meal a day for the last week or so (combined effect of mom avoidance and trying to save money while out) so maybe it was just time for its unorthodox exit strategy.

Dad was home when i got home yesterday, which surprised me because i had thought it was going to be today. After i was already tucked in/lights were out at around 3am, i realized i hadn't tended to the litter box in a few days, and not wanting to get shit for it from the man the next morning, i got out of bed and snuck to the basement to take care of it. Except that it had already been done! Geez, does this guy get off the 14-hour plane ride and have the immediate first thought of cleaning the litter box when he gets home? Actually, i wouldn't be surprised... And the fact that he didn't mention it yesterday at all scares me that it's a silent ticking bomb just waiting to be detonated at the most inopportune timing/situation later on (it's at least something that's most likely silently stressing him out). I'm honestly not that bad about looking after the litter box - just not as compulsive as he is (ie, more litter boxes than the number of cats, cleaned out daily or more often). If my parents just left me alone about such small things that i already have under control (like how my clothes in my drawers should be kept, how i shouldn't be outside the house after dusk, and how many hands should be on the wheel when i drive), i so many things can be so much simpler. But because they butt in, problems that don't exist are created and so are unnecessary stress and friction and seeds of arguments. What's more annoying is that, while i sincerely appreciate being able to live here (i honestly do!), stupid unnecessary shit like this easily translates into me "not being grateful enough", when in fact the two are completely unrelated issues, which then ties into a lot of internal guilt i drag along in life, which has probably caused many issues over the years in terms of my mental health. But i'm just starting to recognize/see/understand this phenomenon, so maybe that's at least a start to do something about it.

About to go run a load of laundry as my first task of the day. Then get dressed warmly to go outside and clean out the car, then maybe some desk work (cover letter). I'll probably call it the day around 3:00 and then hop in the shower and get ready to go out. But i'll be on and offline til then.

1 comment:

  1. This is so funny. You do realize these are the exact same problems that I think EVERYONE has with their family, although the details change? This is why people move out and move away and can only visit "for so long". I know this is the case with Joni and Grace and I, even though Joni and I have good relationships with our parents (Grace, not so much).

    Also your dad reminds me a lot of my dad in many ways, or at least the conflicts between you two are somewhat similar.