Aaand fast-forward to three days before my Ithaca move-out. No wait, that's today. When I look at it that way it was fast - but what I think might be happening is that I still have some residual momentum of "let me just get through this last part" that I might be idling away the week still trying to let it pass and not realizing all that I have to get done. As my learning mind still only speaks Visualese, I'm blogging it out loud.
The week with its 'knowns' looks like:
Tuesday:
- mostly free
Wednesday:
- 1:00 meeting with researcher
Thursday:
- 10:45 meeting with advisor
Friday:
- leave in the AM
Somewhere in there I must also:
- do my daily waterfall visit
- put together and drop off petition for the grad school so they change their mind about kicking me out of school (another story)
- finish fridge foods
- complete the thesis assignment for Thursday (not sure yet how to tackle this one so I've been avoiding it a bit...)
- pack (kitchen, bedroom, bathroom)
- clean bedroom for move-out
- laundry
I was thinking of doing some laundry this morning to jump start myself on a perceived sense of productivity, but the machines were occupied. I guess I might start with the waterfall now, and head over there with a notebook so that I can work on my thesis brainstorming. After that, hit the coffee shop and develop the above further and also get the petition together. I won't do the drop off til tomorrow though, as I'll have to be on campus for the meeting anyway so I can do my printing and delivery in the same day. Anyway, if I get a good chunk of work done today, then I might hit the second-hand store again - then home for doing that laundry, which actually works out better since I might have some finds from the store to add to the loads.
Okay, that's the tentative plan. See if I can get out of the house in some timely manner. More later.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Friday, August 10, 2012
Bananas.
One of the stressful things I had to do yesterday was sending an email about something I'd been dreading facing for a while. I did the thesis work I was gonna get done for the day (which I kept at not-crazy, just drafting the petition and study plan), then sent the dreaded email off after that and left the office. To ensure I had an excuse not to have to check email (stressed about the response), I stayed out. First I went to the lake, hung out for a few minutes, watched from inside the car. Then I thought I'll hit the animal shelter and go play with some kitties. I texted my roommate about it too, remembering she'd said she likes cats, but without really expecting to hear back in time anyway. Went to hit the waterfall to give the text a few minutes, then headed for the shelter. Of course, they put the months-old, squirming, bubbling litter of adorable cute-tens right in the front lobby (like they'd have trouble finding homes :). Gah. Saw a bunch more fabulous felines and talked with some friendly volunteers.
After that, I headed for the second-hand shop. I'd say not more than four feet into the store, I found the very reason for my visit, what had likely been calling me to this activity for days. A perfect pair of red mary janes I had been seeking, just peering up at me - and, in my size. (That's the challenge with this kind of shopping, that if you like something, it'd better also be blemish-free and in your size. Hitting all three is quite the... feat. Heh heh.) The reward: the completion of many-a outfits, and a price tag of $8.95.
Then I picked up some Thai food, went home, dicked around online, and passed out relatively early.
Now at the breakfast table again. Showered, dressed, and mostly fed. Staring down at my banana which might be all I could do for this meal. Due to my inexperience, I did not realize storing bananas in the fridge is a bad idea. I bought ones that were quite green figuring they're less mushy and I'd take a while to finish all four anyway, but they jumped right over yellow and went straight to brown. They're mostly green and brown at this point, shriveling dry at the ends, and now that I've left this one out of the fridge for a bit while avoiding eating it, condensation has started forming and the thing looks like it's perspiring profusely. Honestly, I don't know how straight guys eat this stuff. ...Probably by storing it properly.
Off to campus soon for my meeting with the Japanese bibliographer, a.k.a. my thesis' guardian angel. Not sure where to after that.
After that, I headed for the second-hand shop. I'd say not more than four feet into the store, I found the very reason for my visit, what had likely been calling me to this activity for days. A perfect pair of red mary janes I had been seeking, just peering up at me - and, in my size. (That's the challenge with this kind of shopping, that if you like something, it'd better also be blemish-free and in your size. Hitting all three is quite the... feat. Heh heh.) The reward: the completion of many-a outfits, and a price tag of $8.95.
Then I picked up some Thai food, went home, dicked around online, and passed out relatively early.
Now at the breakfast table again. Showered, dressed, and mostly fed. Staring down at my banana which might be all I could do for this meal. Due to my inexperience, I did not realize storing bananas in the fridge is a bad idea. I bought ones that were quite green figuring they're less mushy and I'd take a while to finish all four anyway, but they jumped right over yellow and went straight to brown. They're mostly green and brown at this point, shriveling dry at the ends, and now that I've left this one out of the fridge for a bit while avoiding eating it, condensation has started forming and the thing looks like it's perspiring profusely. Honestly, I don't know how straight guys eat this stuff. ...Probably by storing it properly.
Off to campus soon for my meeting with the Japanese bibliographer, a.k.a. my thesis' guardian angel. Not sure where to after that.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Meeting and Thesis Stat
Meeting is done! Still feel somewhat lost and a bit overwhelmed as usual, but it was good - the dense kind with a lot of discussions and take-aways.
One annoying thing was getting an email from the grad school today saying they've rejected my application for extending my leave status into the next semester. (This is the same guy who took a while to process my application last year, bleeding into the start of the semester, then charged me thousands for pro-rated tuition, so his slight bitchiness is already established.) My advisor's totally taking my side though and says she will write me a letter of support to submit with my petition, so I don't feel as bad. We used part of the meeting today to figure out what to write in the petition. Part of my necessity to take a leave this semester is because she will be on maternity leave and we won't be able to make progress anyway, which they'd be dumb to contest. As she says, it'll probably turn out a-okay. Just means unplanned additional work for this weekend (thanks, Gschool).
One of the things I need to include in the petition is a Plan of Study, so we sat down and hashed that out too. With how things are coming along, it's looking like I'll be going back to work (job) in the fall while meeting semi-regularly with either the advisor's researcher via Skype or her PhD student if she's available (she lives in NYC). In the spring, I'll reconvene with my advisor and hope to put together a chapter a month, then defend at the end of the semester or next summer. I guess if I look at it that way it'll be another whole year before this is finally kicked, but I know I've really been working on it this summer and my advisor knows that I've been making a lot of progress as compared to before too, so I feel okay, that it's not really a true delay or entirely because of me f'ing up, it just legitimately is taking this long. So long as the grad school doesn't keep being a bitch, I should get the green light to go ahead with this plan.
So there I have it. I am finishing a masters degree in the time people get PhDs. Heh.
Now (with the meeting done for the day) I have a wee breather. I do want to go check out some used clothes and do something fun to keep the mood up, but I feel I might feel better later if I stay and keep working for a few more hours. Either way, I'll go get some food first now.
One annoying thing was getting an email from the grad school today saying they've rejected my application for extending my leave status into the next semester. (This is the same guy who took a while to process my application last year, bleeding into the start of the semester, then charged me thousands for pro-rated tuition, so his slight bitchiness is already established.) My advisor's totally taking my side though and says she will write me a letter of support to submit with my petition, so I don't feel as bad. We used part of the meeting today to figure out what to write in the petition. Part of my necessity to take a leave this semester is because she will be on maternity leave and we won't be able to make progress anyway, which they'd be dumb to contest. As she says, it'll probably turn out a-okay. Just means unplanned additional work for this weekend (thanks, Gschool).
One of the things I need to include in the petition is a Plan of Study, so we sat down and hashed that out too. With how things are coming along, it's looking like I'll be going back to work (job) in the fall while meeting semi-regularly with either the advisor's researcher via Skype or her PhD student if she's available (she lives in NYC). In the spring, I'll reconvene with my advisor and hope to put together a chapter a month, then defend at the end of the semester or next summer. I guess if I look at it that way it'll be another whole year before this is finally kicked, but I know I've really been working on it this summer and my advisor knows that I've been making a lot of progress as compared to before too, so I feel okay, that it's not really a true delay or entirely because of me f'ing up, it just legitimately is taking this long. So long as the grad school doesn't keep being a bitch, I should get the green light to go ahead with this plan.
So there I have it. I am finishing a masters degree in the time people get PhDs. Heh.
Now (with the meeting done for the day) I have a wee breather. I do want to go check out some used clothes and do something fun to keep the mood up, but I feel I might feel better later if I stay and keep working for a few more hours. Either way, I'll go get some food first now.
Stomach, Meeting, Shopping, Wedding, Buddy
Aaand, morning again. I have my advisor meeting in three hours and a few things I have to do beforehand so can't make this long, gotta get my butt to campus, but thought I'd organize my thoughts real quick.
Yesterday went mediocre work-wise. Had a stomach ache most of last night (might've been the second cup of coffee that day, tried to stay up late to work). I was woken up in the middle of the night by the pain too, and it still feels funny now. I have one packet of some Japanese stomach med left that my mom had given me - wanted to save it for an emergency but this might be the time. Eating is a little harder now because it seems the stomach is now upset by a lot of things. Gotta figure out breakfast/lunch...
Not too much planned after the meeting today though so I might take a break then and go do something fun / relaxing (thinking second-hand store shopping). Maybe pick up lunch somewhere. I'll see.
In other news, it was just determined that my friend John can make it (as my date) for our mutual high-school friend's wedding reception, a girl neither of us has seen in 15 years (crazy). It's the day after I get back from Ithaca, so it's nice to have that to look forward to (the enjoyment of which will largely be owed to John going with me - I'm so glad he was able to make it since it's one of those scenes I'd otherwise feel bad for not attending but would feel uncomfortable and awkward at by myself the whole time with lots of people asking what I've been doing with my life, etc. (this is the largely-doctors group of acquaintances). John's my good old buddy who also happens to be a vegan and a graphic designer so a good ally indeed :) (although of course I'm just happy to see him).
Yesterday went mediocre work-wise. Had a stomach ache most of last night (might've been the second cup of coffee that day, tried to stay up late to work). I was woken up in the middle of the night by the pain too, and it still feels funny now. I have one packet of some Japanese stomach med left that my mom had given me - wanted to save it for an emergency but this might be the time. Eating is a little harder now because it seems the stomach is now upset by a lot of things. Gotta figure out breakfast/lunch...
Not too much planned after the meeting today though so I might take a break then and go do something fun / relaxing (thinking second-hand store shopping). Maybe pick up lunch somewhere. I'll see.
In other news, it was just determined that my friend John can make it (as my date) for our mutual high-school friend's wedding reception, a girl neither of us has seen in 15 years (crazy). It's the day after I get back from Ithaca, so it's nice to have that to look forward to (the enjoyment of which will largely be owed to John going with me - I'm so glad he was able to make it since it's one of those scenes I'd otherwise feel bad for not attending but would feel uncomfortable and awkward at by myself the whole time with lots of people asking what I've been doing with my life, etc. (this is the largely-doctors group of acquaintances). John's my good old buddy who also happens to be a vegan and a graphic designer so a good ally indeed :) (although of course I'm just happy to see him).
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Mid-Day Report...
Back from meeting, and having breakfast/lunch. Ideally would've eaten before the meeting, but making up for it with a nutritious meal: rice (ancient grain blend with beans) and natto with green onions. No, not for everybody, but it's got the protein from the rice and beans, the tryptophan and vitamin B6 from the soybeans, and magnesium from the green onions. Washing it all down with soymilk. Not sure how much niacin is in this collection, but I randomly had some peanuts before bed last night which happens to be a good source so at least I got that.
Now, as for work: an update.
Yesterday was productive up until the last posting here or so. Then one of my new roommates who I just befriended a few days ago came home. As I was going out for my daily waterfall visit and we had discussed it previously, I invited her. We went around 7:00, and ended up chit-chatting for the next four hours (not all at the waterfall). Part of it was because she struggles with English somewhat (she's a researcher and a recent arrival from Poland), but it was nice connecting with someone from such a different world than mine, not just physically but mentally and culturally too (I think it helps me get out of my head more by letting me see myself and others more objectively). After we parted, I managed some amount of work before getting to that point of sleepy where it's best to hold off on sending important emails and just call it the night. Maybe it was around 2:00.
The cool thing though is that I heard back from the Japanese bibliographer I had emailed yesterday. He returned to me an exhaustive list of references that I don't even know how he knew would each be perfect for my project that has yet to take shape. And he tells me that's only a portion of what's available. I still need to run article searches, but he gave me so much in terms of prints that I can put it toward one of the two assignments for tomorrow (literature research) that I was supposed to work on last night and instead went to socialize with a new friend for the first time in months. Worked out sorta nicely~. At my meeting earlier today, my researcher told me that I should really concentrate on developing the themes (the second part of the assignment due tomorrow, the part I was going to work on today) because my advisor is really good with discussing them and that I should take advantage of that while we still have in-person meetings. I'm glad she told me this, as I was thinking about abandoning that a bit to keep working on the literature search. Hence, this will be my focus for the rest of today.
Alright, back to it. Gotta clean the kitchen, then figure out whether to work at home or get a move on and hit the coffee shop. Today is likely the last day that I can work at the kitchen table (where the landlady usually works but she is out of town til tonight) - it's under a sky light and comfortable and there's a pleasant energy about it (generally speaking, just a lot better lit than my bedroom), and I found it to work out yesterday when I tried - so I might stay in today, at least until the waterfall.
Now, as for work: an update.
Yesterday was productive up until the last posting here or so. Then one of my new roommates who I just befriended a few days ago came home. As I was going out for my daily waterfall visit and we had discussed it previously, I invited her. We went around 7:00, and ended up chit-chatting for the next four hours (not all at the waterfall). Part of it was because she struggles with English somewhat (she's a researcher and a recent arrival from Poland), but it was nice connecting with someone from such a different world than mine, not just physically but mentally and culturally too (I think it helps me get out of my head more by letting me see myself and others more objectively). After we parted, I managed some amount of work before getting to that point of sleepy where it's best to hold off on sending important emails and just call it the night. Maybe it was around 2:00.
The cool thing though is that I heard back from the Japanese bibliographer I had emailed yesterday. He returned to me an exhaustive list of references that I don't even know how he knew would each be perfect for my project that has yet to take shape. And he tells me that's only a portion of what's available. I still need to run article searches, but he gave me so much in terms of prints that I can put it toward one of the two assignments for tomorrow (literature research) that I was supposed to work on last night and instead went to socialize with a new friend for the first time in months. Worked out sorta nicely~. At my meeting earlier today, my researcher told me that I should really concentrate on developing the themes (the second part of the assignment due tomorrow, the part I was going to work on today) because my advisor is really good with discussing them and that I should take advantage of that while we still have in-person meetings. I'm glad she told me this, as I was thinking about abandoning that a bit to keep working on the literature search. Hence, this will be my focus for the rest of today.
Alright, back to it. Gotta clean the kitchen, then figure out whether to work at home or get a move on and hit the coffee shop. Today is likely the last day that I can work at the kitchen table (where the landlady usually works but she is out of town til tonight) - it's under a sky light and comfortable and there's a pleasant energy about it (generally speaking, just a lot better lit than my bedroom), and I found it to work out yesterday when I tried - so I might stay in today, at least until the waterfall.
Mornings and Food.
Another day, another fight. I feel like I've become a different kind of non morning-person now. Before it used to mean that I had difficulty waking up. Now I don't have that issue so much, I wake up before my alarm most mornings in fact, but I just do not feel well during this portion of the day. I know it's not unusual, but just that when it's particularly bad it makes me feel like I'm reset to square one every morning and the first thing I have to do if I want to do anything with the day is build myself back up to a minimally-functional state.
Today it took me about two hours from wake-up time to here. That included showering, getting dressed, and making coffee. I do still have to make and eat breakfast.
I've really been trying to eat better the last several days. I'm fairly certain I'm severely lacking in some nutrients and I've been reading up on what they might be. I realized that I'm finding it actually quite distracting and inconvenient to have to stop at least three times during the day to make sure I make/find and eat as much food as I can get down. Then I thought, how did this used to be second nature, a necessity even, to me? I don't even ever remember it being such a struggle and nuisance, I used to look forward to cooking and eating. Last time I went grocery shopping, I went with a list of foods high in tryptophan and all that good stuff that's supposed to make people feel better. They included some things I particularly don't care for, like vanilla yogurt (the only brand of yogurt that I somewhat enjoy was out of my flavor, maple, and vanilla was the only flavor that had maple syrup in it - even though I really don't like vanilla... nor yogurt...). I also picked up some organic bananas. All these mushy foods that I usually avoid because they require me to concentrate while eating in order not to gag. The other day I bought a breakfast bagel in the morning to "kick-start" the day. It took me five hours to finish it. I stuff food down, crying. Then I cry some more about how pitiful I feel that I'm crying about something so simple as eating. Then I cry for the guilt I feel of having such a ridiculously 'privileged' issue (I'm complaining because I didn't get my favorite flavor of yogurt?!). I don't even know. Since eating more, each morning I've woken up to stomach aches and intestinal rejections, while my head's not feeling all that much better, so I'm not sure if it's even working. I guess I'll just keep eating to see.
I know it's kind of silly to be writing here about something so mundane as eating, but it's something that is on my to-do list right along with the thesis stuff. I want to get better, and I believe that I need to tend to and regulate my physical health as part of it. I also have to start feeling better about what I am getting done and not feeling so shitty about what I'm not yet able to do.
Today it took me about two hours from wake-up time to here. That included showering, getting dressed, and making coffee. I do still have to make and eat breakfast.
I've really been trying to eat better the last several days. I'm fairly certain I'm severely lacking in some nutrients and I've been reading up on what they might be. I realized that I'm finding it actually quite distracting and inconvenient to have to stop at least three times during the day to make sure I make/find and eat as much food as I can get down. Then I thought, how did this used to be second nature, a necessity even, to me? I don't even ever remember it being such a struggle and nuisance, I used to look forward to cooking and eating. Last time I went grocery shopping, I went with a list of foods high in tryptophan and all that good stuff that's supposed to make people feel better. They included some things I particularly don't care for, like vanilla yogurt (the only brand of yogurt that I somewhat enjoy was out of my flavor, maple, and vanilla was the only flavor that had maple syrup in it - even though I really don't like vanilla... nor yogurt...). I also picked up some organic bananas. All these mushy foods that I usually avoid because they require me to concentrate while eating in order not to gag. The other day I bought a breakfast bagel in the morning to "kick-start" the day. It took me five hours to finish it. I stuff food down, crying. Then I cry some more about how pitiful I feel that I'm crying about something so simple as eating. Then I cry for the guilt I feel of having such a ridiculously 'privileged' issue (I'm complaining because I didn't get my favorite flavor of yogurt?!). I don't even know. Since eating more, each morning I've woken up to stomach aches and intestinal rejections, while my head's not feeling all that much better, so I'm not sure if it's even working. I guess I'll just keep eating to see.
I know it's kind of silly to be writing here about something so mundane as eating, but it's something that is on my to-do list right along with the thesis stuff. I want to get better, and I believe that I need to tend to and regulate my physical health as part of it. I also have to start feeling better about what I am getting done and not feeling so shitty about what I'm not yet able to do.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Specific To-Do List for Today's Literature Research
Searches to run / places to look:
There's probably more if I think hard enough, but I'll get started on these for now. Else I'll just be blogging all day :-p.
- Cornell library website
- Databases:
- Web of Science
- JStor (also jstor.org)
- Avery
- Open House International
- search combinations of following keywords: Japan*, United States, U.S., America*, east*, west*, cultur*, nation*, sustain*, build*, design, green, environment*, eco-*, eco *, individual, character*, societ*, space, time, natur*, cross-*, internation*, ethnograph*, psychol*, anthropol*, sociolog*
- other topics / areas:
- 'cross-national' studies
- cultural psychology, psychological differences
- cultural patterns
- Amazon.com
- books on the topic
- the "customers who purchased this book also liked" section under each book
- Google Scholar
- look at number of times each reference has been cited to determine weight
- look at any reviews of the article by others, to figure out other available literature and / or get a feel for what's authoritative in the field
- References cited and/or required readings listed on online college/graduate school course syllabi for cross-cultural study classes being offered
- general search
- look up old CMU Japanese profs' courses
- throw into RefWorks
- read introduction to get an idea of conventional / widely-accepted understanding of topic
- read literature review section (if available) and references cited to pick up more related publications
- if available, read reviews / critiques of the literature
- list from advisor of items found during last meeting
- "The Geography of Thought" book
- any response from campus Japanese bibliographer (pending)
There's probably more if I think hard enough, but I'll get started on these for now. Else I'll just be blogging all day :-p.
Blowing off the dust here...
Haven't been on this forever.
Just starting to crawl back out of my head where I resided trapped for the last ten days or so. It was pretty heavy and drawn-out this time. I think it was partly just the toll of being out here for this extended time, some wonkiness to be expected.
Here's what I gotta do in the coming weeks/days.
General calendar (for now):
- Staying in Ithaca for 10 more days, leaving August 17th
- Remainder of August 8/18~: work on thesis at home
- Start job-work again in September, with regular meetings with researcher through the semester (advisor unavailable til next spring)
During the next 10 days:
- Remaining meetings:
8/8 (Wed.) with researcher
8/9 (Thu.) with advisor
8/13 (Mon.) with advisor
8/15 (Wed.) with researcher
8/16 (Thu.) with advisor
Must have concrete things accomplished to present for the advisor meetings. For the upcoming one in two days, must do:
- literature research on comparative studies / articles on American and Japanese cultures [have a list of references to show]
- organize and develop emerging themes further for results section
Reflection:
I think part of the reason why I'm having difficulty diving into these is because both are rather formless, nebulous, messy processes. The literature review I have at least a few concrete to-do items figured out for (one of which was to email the Japanese bibiographer on campus, which I already did earlier today) so I might devote the rest of today to that assignment and tomorrow for the theme development portion (hopefully I'll be in a better state tomorrow if today ends up being somewhat productive).
Here's what I gotta do in the coming weeks/days.
General calendar (for now):
- Staying in Ithaca for 10 more days, leaving August 17th
- Remainder of August 8/18~: work on thesis at home
- Start job-work again in September, with regular meetings with researcher through the semester (advisor unavailable til next spring)
During the next 10 days:
- Remaining meetings:
8/8 (Wed.) with researcher
8/9 (Thu.) with advisor
8/13 (Mon.) with advisor
8/15 (Wed.) with researcher
8/16 (Thu.) with advisor
Must have concrete things accomplished to present for the advisor meetings. For the upcoming one in two days, must do:
- literature research on comparative studies / articles on American and Japanese cultures [have a list of references to show]
- organize and develop emerging themes further for results section
Reflection:
I think part of the reason why I'm having difficulty diving into these is because both are rather formless, nebulous, messy processes. The literature review I have at least a few concrete to-do items figured out for (one of which was to email the Japanese bibiographer on campus, which I already did earlier today) so I might devote the rest of today to that assignment and tomorrow for the theme development portion (hopefully I'll be in a better state tomorrow if today ends up being somewhat productive).
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Hullo, and long time no post.
I should be doing some work tonight, as i have a meeting with my advisor tomorrow morning. I am having some difficulty pushing myself tonight, i also have a mild headache that is making me lethargic, so i figured i'd start here, organize my thoughts, collect myself, and see if from there i become somewhat motivated to go on to tackling the mandatories.
My parents are leaving for Japan in 2 days, likely for the next 2-3 months. I have yet to really grasp this reality - it is so much freedom that i don't exactly know what to do with myself. I am intending on making the most of it, since i know that if i don't go into it with the mental commitment, i'll end up hibernating the entire time. The plan is to try to get in 30 hours of work every week, at either a library or coffeeshop. "Work" involves either thesis work or job hunting. Aside from that, i'd like to make sure to get a few other things done every week, including: going to the gym, going to yoga, having real weekends, volunteering (at a friend's organic farm), eating breakfast, cleaning the house (my parents' and client's), etc. The other thing i want to strive for is having a somewhat normal sleep schedule through the weekdays. I know that if i actually hit the sack at/before midnight, i don't have *as much* difficulty getting up. It's just that keeping myself in check when there is no workplace or classroom or other forms of reporting to people, it becomes very very difficult to stay on top of it and stay disciplined. I might go back to reporting my progress here in hopes of helping with that.
Aside from that, latest pieces of news are:
- Chestnuts were made into chestnut creme - trial #1 went well and trial #2 turned out even better. Jars of the stuff are being distributed amongst family friends and so far no one has died so that's good.
- I got a FB message from Da, my old boyfriend from now 12 years ago (we rarely contact each other). In it, he told me that he recently had a random dream about us. This was weird enough since i also randomly had a dream about the two of us a few months ago, out of nowhere. He then told me about his, which turned out to be crazy because it was basically the same exact dream that i had. Both dreams were particularly vivid and emotionally-charged, and the scenario was that we were getting married to each other, but i was being hesitant about the wedding and trying to get out. It was as though we were both in the same dream, just from different perspectives. Weirdness. But i'm glad he shared it since without that we wouldn't have found out about our overlapping experience. :p
- A friend forwarded me a job posting today - which has particularly piqued my interest considering it seems pretty doable and ideal. It's working as an English tutor for Japanese students (K-12). I meet the requirements, the hours are flexible, the location is 10 minutes away, and pay is pretty decent at $18 an hour. It certainly pays better than cleaning, aside from that gig this'd be the first paycheck i've gotten in almost 2 years, and intensive language teaching is something i've basically been doing with my dad for the past 6 months. Applying for it is on my current to-do list, possibly for tonight if all else goes well.
- I currently have a crush on this architect:
http://archinect.com/features/article.php?id=80820_0_23_0_M
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-bM5xO-5NE
That picture reminds me a little of our old roomie Jamie (but not as bitchy), but i think he kind of looks like a super hot version of Matt LeBlanc. I look at people like him and realize that the notion of all men being created equal is a crock of shit. He's half Turkish, just 33, 6'2", Ivy-League educated, a former actor, singer, and model, but most of all, is actually a successful architect (at least in terms of being good enough to have his own TV show) and as if i hadn't creamed my undies yet - he's left-handed to boot. (Of course, given the above and my own history, i would probably guess that he's also gay.)
Okay wow, it's 10pm. I've had my little Japanese energy drink, my thoughts have been somewhat sifted through, so ima try hittin them books. Ttfn.
I should be doing some work tonight, as i have a meeting with my advisor tomorrow morning. I am having some difficulty pushing myself tonight, i also have a mild headache that is making me lethargic, so i figured i'd start here, organize my thoughts, collect myself, and see if from there i become somewhat motivated to go on to tackling the mandatories.
My parents are leaving for Japan in 2 days, likely for the next 2-3 months. I have yet to really grasp this reality - it is so much freedom that i don't exactly know what to do with myself. I am intending on making the most of it, since i know that if i don't go into it with the mental commitment, i'll end up hibernating the entire time. The plan is to try to get in 30 hours of work every week, at either a library or coffeeshop. "Work" involves either thesis work or job hunting. Aside from that, i'd like to make sure to get a few other things done every week, including: going to the gym, going to yoga, having real weekends, volunteering (at a friend's organic farm), eating breakfast, cleaning the house (my parents' and client's), etc. The other thing i want to strive for is having a somewhat normal sleep schedule through the weekdays. I know that if i actually hit the sack at/before midnight, i don't have *as much* difficulty getting up. It's just that keeping myself in check when there is no workplace or classroom or other forms of reporting to people, it becomes very very difficult to stay on top of it and stay disciplined. I might go back to reporting my progress here in hopes of helping with that.
Aside from that, latest pieces of news are:
- Chestnuts were made into chestnut creme - trial #1 went well and trial #2 turned out even better. Jars of the stuff are being distributed amongst family friends and so far no one has died so that's good.
- I got a FB message from Da, my old boyfriend from now 12 years ago (we rarely contact each other). In it, he told me that he recently had a random dream about us. This was weird enough since i also randomly had a dream about the two of us a few months ago, out of nowhere. He then told me about his, which turned out to be crazy because it was basically the same exact dream that i had. Both dreams were particularly vivid and emotionally-charged, and the scenario was that we were getting married to each other, but i was being hesitant about the wedding and trying to get out. It was as though we were both in the same dream, just from different perspectives. Weirdness. But i'm glad he shared it since without that we wouldn't have found out about our overlapping experience. :p
- A friend forwarded me a job posting today - which has particularly piqued my interest considering it seems pretty doable and ideal. It's working as an English tutor for Japanese students (K-12). I meet the requirements, the hours are flexible, the location is 10 minutes away, and pay is pretty decent at $18 an hour. It certainly pays better than cleaning, aside from that gig this'd be the first paycheck i've gotten in almost 2 years, and intensive language teaching is something i've basically been doing with my dad for the past 6 months. Applying for it is on my current to-do list, possibly for tonight if all else goes well.
- I currently have a crush on this architect:
http://archinect.com/features/article.php?id=80820_0_23_0_M
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-bM5xO-5NE
That picture reminds me a little of our old roomie Jamie (but not as bitchy), but i think he kind of looks like a super hot version of Matt LeBlanc. I look at people like him and realize that the notion of all men being created equal is a crock of shit. He's half Turkish, just 33, 6'2", Ivy-League educated, a former actor, singer, and model, but most of all, is actually a successful architect (at least in terms of being good enough to have his own TV show) and as if i hadn't creamed my undies yet - he's left-handed to boot. (Of course, given the above and my own history, i would probably guess that he's also gay.)
Okay wow, it's 10pm. I've had my little Japanese energy drink, my thoughts have been somewhat sifted through, so ima try hittin them books. Ttfn.
Friday, November 20, 2009
My Heart
The first half of yesterday was a pretty decent day. I met up with Anne to work at Starbucks. I was meeting up with James later in the day so i had been looking forward to that, got dressed up a little bit, was in a happy mood, plus had a great time hanging out with Anne to boot.
To update, James and i have been seeing each other a bit/getting a lot closer as of late. It's been two weeks since we first met up. The first week in particular, despite the distance, we saw each other almost everyday. On Veteran's Day when he had the day off, i went to his home and we hung out together all day. I even felt comfortable/connected enough that we slept together. I did have my reservations about him in the beginning, but through spending time together, we warmed up so quickly. He just seems different - well-adjusted, reasonable, compassionate, insightful, and just kind-hearted. Definitely unique in many regards, and there's something about him that makes me feel "safe", that it lets me open up, let my guards down, and connect with him. He's now become the first person i talk to every morning, talk/chat/text with throughout the day, and video chat every night before going to bed. The second week (this past week) we hadn't seen each other in a while, and he said he missed me so much that he just couldn't wait so he wanted to come up from the City just to see me. That was last night. I picked him up at the station after work and we went out to dinner. We were both so giddy to see each other, it was kind of ridiculous.
During dinner, he asked me about my past relationships, that he knows there are things from my past that are affecting me now, saying that he wanted to know more about me. So, i did - about my deep issues in relationships and with men, about things that have happened in the past, the icky private stuff, everything. I knew from the ways we've talked in the past that i could trust him not to judge or see me differently, that this would only be a positive step, that ultimately this would deepen our relationship and understanding of each other and let us connect more.
Then, he told me that last weekend he slept with someone else.
God, i'm such a F'N idiot. Why why why why why. This is just what i get for opening up - every time i do, i get slapped in the face for it, but i'm so dumb that i never learn. I've failed to protect myself, again. And i can't even really legitimatize being upset or feeling hurt about this because we weren't exactly bf-gf. It was just me, getting attached, so i have to accept that. A few nights ago when i went stargazing, Anne's friend (who's interested in me) was trying to get close, but i couldn't even consider reciprocating, with respect to James. But it was so easy for James to just fuck someone else in the meantime.
After he went home last night, we chatted til 6:30 this morning. I need to end this now, hell it already is over, but it hurts and i just want to talk to him, which i know is just sick. And he is so remorseful about it, and he keeps messaging. He is telling me that he has never felt like a bigger failure than to have done what he did. That he didn't see what he had in front of him and ran away for his fear of commitment. But that he actually loves me. He thinks i'm "the one". This is only messing me up further, and i am confused why he can say such things. It only sounds like a cop-out cover up to have your cake and eat it too. To admit his true feelings toward me, he says that the thought of me cuddling with someone else makes him jealous - but that of course only stabs me more that he could think that and then also go sleep with someone else so easily, especially after we already had. I simply cannot see what he did and also believe what he says.
So i know i have to walk away. But it f'n sucks. I feel numb for the most part, with bouts of hurt. I also feel like the biggest moron. I just should've gone with my first impression/instincts, and just never have gotten involved or thought that, with him, i could trust.
To update, James and i have been seeing each other a bit/getting a lot closer as of late. It's been two weeks since we first met up. The first week in particular, despite the distance, we saw each other almost everyday. On Veteran's Day when he had the day off, i went to his home and we hung out together all day. I even felt comfortable/connected enough that we slept together. I did have my reservations about him in the beginning, but through spending time together, we warmed up so quickly. He just seems different - well-adjusted, reasonable, compassionate, insightful, and just kind-hearted. Definitely unique in many regards, and there's something about him that makes me feel "safe", that it lets me open up, let my guards down, and connect with him. He's now become the first person i talk to every morning, talk/chat/text with throughout the day, and video chat every night before going to bed. The second week (this past week) we hadn't seen each other in a while, and he said he missed me so much that he just couldn't wait so he wanted to come up from the City just to see me. That was last night. I picked him up at the station after work and we went out to dinner. We were both so giddy to see each other, it was kind of ridiculous.
During dinner, he asked me about my past relationships, that he knows there are things from my past that are affecting me now, saying that he wanted to know more about me. So, i did - about my deep issues in relationships and with men, about things that have happened in the past, the icky private stuff, everything. I knew from the ways we've talked in the past that i could trust him not to judge or see me differently, that this would only be a positive step, that ultimately this would deepen our relationship and understanding of each other and let us connect more.
Then, he told me that last weekend he slept with someone else.
God, i'm such a F'N idiot. Why why why why why. This is just what i get for opening up - every time i do, i get slapped in the face for it, but i'm so dumb that i never learn. I've failed to protect myself, again. And i can't even really legitimatize being upset or feeling hurt about this because we weren't exactly bf-gf. It was just me, getting attached, so i have to accept that. A few nights ago when i went stargazing, Anne's friend (who's interested in me) was trying to get close, but i couldn't even consider reciprocating, with respect to James. But it was so easy for James to just fuck someone else in the meantime.
After he went home last night, we chatted til 6:30 this morning. I need to end this now, hell it already is over, but it hurts and i just want to talk to him, which i know is just sick. And he is so remorseful about it, and he keeps messaging. He is telling me that he has never felt like a bigger failure than to have done what he did. That he didn't see what he had in front of him and ran away for his fear of commitment. But that he actually loves me. He thinks i'm "the one". This is only messing me up further, and i am confused why he can say such things. It only sounds like a cop-out cover up to have your cake and eat it too. To admit his true feelings toward me, he says that the thought of me cuddling with someone else makes him jealous - but that of course only stabs me more that he could think that and then also go sleep with someone else so easily, especially after we already had. I simply cannot see what he did and also believe what he says.
So i know i have to walk away. But it f'n sucks. I feel numb for the most part, with bouts of hurt. I also feel like the biggest moron. I just should've gone with my first impression/instincts, and just never have gotten involved or thought that, with him, i could trust.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Weekend Musings
Went to sleep last night pretty late (~4:30), but of course, no sleeping in these days, weekday or weekend. I was up ~9:00, but whoosh, it's the afternoon and i'm just really getting settled and started. Where the morning went, i have no idea, but hopefully i can still make something of the rest of this day.
Okay, that bit was from yesterday (Saturday). The rest of the day was spent by:
- lunch with Howie and Chris (got picked up, hence the interruption above)
- random outings (Costco, then trying to track down a kid who Chris sold something to online and whose check bounced. The attempt was unsuccessful only ending with a "I don't want to go court over this" note on their door, but that's about the extent of excitement and adventure here in Westchester.
- home for a bit, eating collected scrapings for dinner while hiding in my bedroom. I've been eating this way for about the last 3 weeks.
- sent in job app - YES.
- screwed around online / tended to a little knitting and material organization, updated ravelry.
- around 10:30 when i was already in my pjs, Howie called with an invite to go bowling. The spontaneous plan ended up being lots of fun (though i sat out for the games to save money), and more surprisingly, no phone calls from home! And we even went out to eat afterward and i stayed out til ~1:30. I think i might've found a new way of sneaking out - later at night when i can make it look like i'm already in bed. This tactic has worked once and failed once, so i shall reexamine the details and see what made it successful this time around...
Anyway, new day. Spent 2.5 hours of my afternoon on the phone with car insurance people, and though i feel like i've been mildly productive with my day thus far, i look down and realize i'm still in my pjs. As far as the coverage status goes - apparently, i was deducted for six months back in June (when my card was still valid) so i was covered all through til December after all. This was the good news. The bad news started when i tried to update my address. It turns out that my premium increased because of the move, which i somewhat expected, but it was from 317 to 600-something. As if that wasn't enough, they then asked me that "who else lives in your new household?" question. Since it was posed much more casually than that, i didn't think much about it and told them i live with my parents. Then they start asking me for their names, coverage status, insurer, driver's license info... When i told them i don't have any of that on hand right now, they quoted me for $2800 or some BS as such. Me and my big mouth - but at this point it wasn't as though i could tell them that "no wait, i mean, i DON'T live with my parents. Or anyone." I told them that there's no way i'd be able to pay that much, and even if i provided the info to bring it down to the 600s, neither did i want to go through the hassle of finding all this info and faxing it and whatnot, when even with it my rate was jumping 200% because my zip code changed. It's really too bad that they have this new (?) procedure now because they just lost a customer of 7+ years. I shopped around for others, and it turns out that no one else asks for that info! (Heart that that may only have happened because of a *change* in address, but ito doesn't with new quotes). And, it even turns out that i found someone else for $235, which was a lot cheaper than what i started with. Heh. Well, at least that makes me feel better about spending the whole afternoon with this ordeal. I am cancelling the original policy and getting a refund for the unused portion, while i'm also already set with payments on the new policy for the next 6 months.
In other news, i've been really good with my abstinence. Okay, it's only been 3 days, but a completely clean and honest 3 days at that. Not even a cigarette to compensate. The weekend was a hump of course with all the social outings and recreational domestic activities, but if i get through today, i'm hoping that i'll hear back from the job relatively soon in the coming week because that would strengthen my resolve. If i don't, then it'll be an indefinite length of time, but at least that'll give my system more time to cleanse out.
Okay, that bit was from yesterday (Saturday). The rest of the day was spent by:
- lunch with Howie and Chris (got picked up, hence the interruption above)
- random outings (Costco, then trying to track down a kid who Chris sold something to online and whose check bounced. The attempt was unsuccessful only ending with a "I don't want to go court over this" note on their door, but that's about the extent of excitement and adventure here in Westchester.
- home for a bit, eating collected scrapings for dinner while hiding in my bedroom. I've been eating this way for about the last 3 weeks.
- sent in job app - YES.
- screwed around online / tended to a little knitting and material organization, updated ravelry.
- around 10:30 when i was already in my pjs, Howie called with an invite to go bowling. The spontaneous plan ended up being lots of fun (though i sat out for the games to save money), and more surprisingly, no phone calls from home! And we even went out to eat afterward and i stayed out til ~1:30. I think i might've found a new way of sneaking out - later at night when i can make it look like i'm already in bed. This tactic has worked once and failed once, so i shall reexamine the details and see what made it successful this time around...
Anyway, new day. Spent 2.5 hours of my afternoon on the phone with car insurance people, and though i feel like i've been mildly productive with my day thus far, i look down and realize i'm still in my pjs. As far as the coverage status goes - apparently, i was deducted for six months back in June (when my card was still valid) so i was covered all through til December after all. This was the good news. The bad news started when i tried to update my address. It turns out that my premium increased because of the move, which i somewhat expected, but it was from 317 to 600-something. As if that wasn't enough, they then asked me that "who else lives in your new household?" question. Since it was posed much more casually than that, i didn't think much about it and told them i live with my parents. Then they start asking me for their names, coverage status, insurer, driver's license info... When i told them i don't have any of that on hand right now, they quoted me for $2800 or some BS as such. Me and my big mouth - but at this point it wasn't as though i could tell them that "no wait, i mean, i DON'T live with my parents. Or anyone." I told them that there's no way i'd be able to pay that much, and even if i provided the info to bring it down to the 600s, neither did i want to go through the hassle of finding all this info and faxing it and whatnot, when even with it my rate was jumping 200% because my zip code changed. It's really too bad that they have this new (?) procedure now because they just lost a customer of 7+ years. I shopped around for others, and it turns out that no one else asks for that info! (Heart that that may only have happened because of a *change* in address, but ito doesn't with new quotes). And, it even turns out that i found someone else for $235, which was a lot cheaper than what i started with. Heh. Well, at least that makes me feel better about spending the whole afternoon with this ordeal. I am cancelling the original policy and getting a refund for the unused portion, while i'm also already set with payments on the new policy for the next 6 months.
In other news, i've been really good with my abstinence. Okay, it's only been 3 days, but a completely clean and honest 3 days at that. Not even a cigarette to compensate. The weekend was a hump of course with all the social outings and recreational domestic activities, but if i get through today, i'm hoping that i'll hear back from the job relatively soon in the coming week because that would strengthen my resolve. If i don't, then it'll be an indefinite length of time, but at least that'll give my system more time to cleanse out.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
3-in-1 Post!
((from Wednesday when i spent the day in Brooklyn, written offline))
I set my alarm for 7:00 this morning, but woke up at 5:50 (and quite easily, at that). I considered staying up to just catch an earlier train into the City to maximize stay time, but decided that the original plan was f*n early enough. Got into Grand Central earlier than James who was going to meet me there, so decided to just follow the directions and go all the way to his hood, and was surprised to be there by 10:00. That was about an hour and a half from home to northern Brooklyn (noted to self for possible future commute route travel time). That's still freakin' long, and it won't be that much cheaper because transportation ended up costing $30 including the subway. If i worked 22 days a month, that would cost me $660, totally defeating the purpose of saving rent (especially at the expense of my sanity) - okay, one vote in for moving, one less vote for commuting to Brooklyn from Westchester (jury's still out re: Manhattan). So if i get a job in Brooklyn, i'm definitely moving there - unless i want to be spending 3 hours and $30 everyday on the train. No thanks.
James had a nice apartment i could see myself living in. Well, by that, i mean that it was furnished decently and the amenities were clean-looking/nice/updated. However, he does have 3 other roommates, and has a room the size of a closet (and without a closet) for almost $700. And he says he "lucked out". Sheet. How is it that SF was so much cheaper to live in? I'm not a student in my early 20s anymore. I don't want that many roommates, not for that price anyway. So the current resolution i'm brewing is to find a spacious can-be-two bedroom apartment for somewhere around or a little over a grand, and then maybe ask James if he'd be my roommate (the set-up can only work with someone who'd be okay with slightly more intimate joint space usage than with total strangers, where this wouldn't cause any setbacks, only enticing perks like cheaper rent and enjoyable company and food sharing). From what i've gotten to know about him, we'll probably get along okay, he's not opposed to cats, has a job, and we have similar tastes in entertainment and hobbies, as well as dietary, domestic, and financial needs. I shall look.
As for the hangout, i had a pretty good time. Of course, as i had feared, more work got done in half of the morning train ride than during all the rest of the day combined, but it was still nice nonetheless (just REALLY need to kick my ass the rest of the week, for F*s sake). When i got there, James cooked me a vegetarian breakfast which was sweet, and we hung out, me on my computer and him on his unfinished scarf... But then eventually out comes the offer of the pipe (which i don't think i have ever refused in a social setting - it's like an automatic "mmmm, ok!", never actually passing through my brain for review.) The act of course contains us in a closed room, and then things naturally went (again) further than i had planned on. Mmm. I'm still glad to have had a nice time with him today, but am now feeling that familiar antsiness/uneasiness. I realize that i tend to feel this way whenever i start to get myself into a physical relationship with someone. I get very worrisome and scared and uncertain, fretting and twitchy, craving company and reassurance. It is anxiety (about whether or not what i did was the wrong thing), and dread (of possibly realizing that i had done the wrong thing), and guilt (of anything and everything i could possibly feel bad about). Just, generally very icky and distressful. It's really the manifestations of ghosts from various past experiences, i know. It's just still unpleasant, but if James is a decent and mature person (which i think he is), i think i should be calming down in time.
********************
Okay, i am now at the library, which will be open late tonight (til 8pm). I plan on being here til then, or close to closing anyway.
This morning at the bagel shop (because the library opens late on Thursdays), i worked on that dang cover letter. I just have so much to write about all the ways i think i'm qualified for this job (really, it's rare to find something with this much match, but i might be saying *too* much), and i am just about finishing it up. It's dawning on me how fast the last week has gone. I had originally found this job posting at a timing when i thought i could get my application in early. Somehow i managed to piss away all that cushion time and now just have a day til the weekend before the deadline, not even much time to do a follow up (i'll probably just wait til after the deadline to do that, which i guess is still okay). Anyway, so today's priority is to get this done and hopefully get it in by tomorrow, end of today would be great.
If i do get that in today, i would like to spend tomorrow on fixing and submitting my fecal draft. But i'll worry about that tomorrow.
Aside from job stuff and school stuff, there are a few personal stuff that have been awaiting my attention on the back burner. James sent me a bunch of apartment postings so i should check those out (though he only sends me sublet postings for some reason, so they may or may not be usable). I still have a bunch of emails to catch up on, and a few stressful phone calls i need to make. I'm not seeing the phone calls happening today since i'll be at the library during remaining business hours, but maybe i'll do the emails today, phone calls tomorrow. But application first and foremost. Employment. Income. Independence. Yay.
********************
So... i'm at the library, arrived not more than 30 minutes ago. I looked up at a presence that was shuffling toward me - and realized it was my mother. She wordlessly set down a bag of food next to me, winked, and left.
As kind and considerate as the gesture was, i cannot help feeling a tad bit creeped out by my parents' recent behavior.
I am finding myself having much difficulty understanding why they cannot just leave me alone. Are they being extreme, or am i just bothered because i am oh so very *good* at leaving everyone and everything alone in my life (as in, procrastinating and not responding to people and never following up on anything)? And how is it that we are so drastically different? I guess it may be a combination of both, but i'm fairly certain they are not normal either...
I set my alarm for 7:00 this morning, but woke up at 5:50 (and quite easily, at that). I considered staying up to just catch an earlier train into the City to maximize stay time, but decided that the original plan was f*n early enough. Got into Grand Central earlier than James who was going to meet me there, so decided to just follow the directions and go all the way to his hood, and was surprised to be there by 10:00. That was about an hour and a half from home to northern Brooklyn (noted to self for possible future commute route travel time). That's still freakin' long, and it won't be that much cheaper because transportation ended up costing $30 including the subway. If i worked 22 days a month, that would cost me $660, totally defeating the purpose of saving rent (especially at the expense of my sanity) - okay, one vote in for moving, one less vote for commuting to Brooklyn from Westchester (jury's still out re: Manhattan). So if i get a job in Brooklyn, i'm definitely moving there - unless i want to be spending 3 hours and $30 everyday on the train. No thanks.
James had a nice apartment i could see myself living in. Well, by that, i mean that it was furnished decently and the amenities were clean-looking/nice/updated. However, he does have 3 other roommates, and has a room the size of a closet (and without a closet) for almost $700. And he says he "lucked out". Sheet. How is it that SF was so much cheaper to live in? I'm not a student in my early 20s anymore. I don't want that many roommates, not for that price anyway. So the current resolution i'm brewing is to find a spacious can-be-two bedroom apartment for somewhere around or a little over a grand, and then maybe ask James if he'd be my roommate (the set-up can only work with someone who'd be okay with slightly more intimate joint space usage than with total strangers, where this wouldn't cause any setbacks, only enticing perks like cheaper rent and enjoyable company and food sharing). From what i've gotten to know about him, we'll probably get along okay, he's not opposed to cats, has a job, and we have similar tastes in entertainment and hobbies, as well as dietary, domestic, and financial needs. I shall look.
As for the hangout, i had a pretty good time. Of course, as i had feared, more work got done in half of the morning train ride than during all the rest of the day combined, but it was still nice nonetheless (just REALLY need to kick my ass the rest of the week, for F*s sake). When i got there, James cooked me a vegetarian breakfast which was sweet, and we hung out, me on my computer and him on his unfinished scarf... But then eventually out comes the offer of the pipe (which i don't think i have ever refused in a social setting - it's like an automatic "mmmm, ok!", never actually passing through my brain for review.) The act of course contains us in a closed room, and then things naturally went (again) further than i had planned on. Mmm. I'm still glad to have had a nice time with him today, but am now feeling that familiar antsiness/uneasiness. I realize that i tend to feel this way whenever i start to get myself into a physical relationship with someone. I get very worrisome and scared and uncertain, fretting and twitchy, craving company and reassurance. It is anxiety (about whether or not what i did was the wrong thing), and dread (of possibly realizing that i had done the wrong thing), and guilt (of anything and everything i could possibly feel bad about). Just, generally very icky and distressful. It's really the manifestations of ghosts from various past experiences, i know. It's just still unpleasant, but if James is a decent and mature person (which i think he is), i think i should be calming down in time.
********************
Okay, i am now at the library, which will be open late tonight (til 8pm). I plan on being here til then, or close to closing anyway.
This morning at the bagel shop (because the library opens late on Thursdays), i worked on that dang cover letter. I just have so much to write about all the ways i think i'm qualified for this job (really, it's rare to find something with this much match, but i might be saying *too* much), and i am just about finishing it up. It's dawning on me how fast the last week has gone. I had originally found this job posting at a timing when i thought i could get my application in early. Somehow i managed to piss away all that cushion time and now just have a day til the weekend before the deadline, not even much time to do a follow up (i'll probably just wait til after the deadline to do that, which i guess is still okay). Anyway, so today's priority is to get this done and hopefully get it in by tomorrow, end of today would be great.
If i do get that in today, i would like to spend tomorrow on fixing and submitting my fecal draft. But i'll worry about that tomorrow.
Aside from job stuff and school stuff, there are a few personal stuff that have been awaiting my attention on the back burner. James sent me a bunch of apartment postings so i should check those out (though he only sends me sublet postings for some reason, so they may or may not be usable). I still have a bunch of emails to catch up on, and a few stressful phone calls i need to make. I'm not seeing the phone calls happening today since i'll be at the library during remaining business hours, but maybe i'll do the emails today, phone calls tomorrow. But application first and foremost. Employment. Income. Independence. Yay.
********************
So... i'm at the library, arrived not more than 30 minutes ago. I looked up at a presence that was shuffling toward me - and realized it was my mother. She wordlessly set down a bag of food next to me, winked, and left.
As kind and considerate as the gesture was, i cannot help feeling a tad bit creeped out by my parents' recent behavior.
I am finding myself having much difficulty understanding why they cannot just leave me alone. Are they being extreme, or am i just bothered because i am oh so very *good* at leaving everyone and everything alone in my life (as in, procrastinating and not responding to people and never following up on anything)? And how is it that we are so drastically different? I guess it may be a combination of both, but i'm fairly certain they are not normal either...
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Egg and Cheese
I'm sitting at the local mom's and pop's deli/bagel shop on the way to the library, working through my egg and cheese on a toasted everything bagel breakfast sandwich and a hefty bucket of caffeine. The salt on the bagel and sugar in my coffee have both been added a bit too generously, but i'm still enjoying this space and time so very grounded in the heart of the Village of Ardsley. It's a Tuesday late morning, and most of the occupants of the joint are old rich white people. (Well, i'm certain of two of those things, and assuming about the other considering it's midday midweek and they're sitting in casual clothes in no apparent rush to go anywhere.) This of course excludes myself, and the Latina girl sitting next to me poring over J. Lo tabloids, and the middle-aged Asian couple that assembled my breakfast for me. Seated at the table immediately to my right are two quintessential Westchester Old Ladies. Even this quintessence of theirs makes them endearing to me - there's something strangely heartwarming and uplifting about the ability to live over 80 years without once losing hold of that rigid snobbish hautiness, that seeming bitterness only deepening with age. This variety of WCOL isn't quite as irritating as the pair i've seen at Panera: the identical real-life versions of Patty and Selma who glare and point at you all through their stay, commenting on everything from your race to your jewelry. This morning's duo isn't as menacing - though they seem to share this tradition of social observation and accompanying audible comments of everything and everyone they see in the restaurant. I sat down and they started talking about my bag. The girl to my left got up with her phone and they talked about her techniques of texting and which fingers are to be used. I didn't even notice how i had adjusted my seating position, until they started talking about how they used to be able to sit in their younger years the way i'm sitting with my legs crossed, and who of their neighbors and relatives can sit like me. Then for a while they talked about who in their neighbors and relatives are left-handed. I think now they're talking about the woman that just came in carrying her terrier, and who in their neighbors and relatives have a dog like that. I wonder if in my old age: 1) i'd still have teeth strong enough to keep eating NY bagels, 2) i will be able to reach a state of peace and contentment and satisfaction in every part of my life that all i have to talk about are mundane details of others' affairs, 3) lose my hearing to the point where i am no longer aware of the fact that i'm talking about surrounding strangers while seated 12 inches from them.
Anyway, these are the musings from this morning. I just realized it's well past noon - i'm going to drop you a text and head over to the library!
Anyway, these are the musings from this morning. I just realized it's well past noon - i'm going to drop you a text and head over to the library!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Hard drives and pierogis
So today I woke up super late. On the rag, outside is super rainy - it's just not going to happen. I came downstairs just before NOON, shivery, started a major fire, ate yummy leftovers and talked with Grace. Then just as I sit down and start fucking around on the 'net (in hopeful pre-thesis mode), there's a thump at the door, and I realize... it's my hard drive!
I bought a terabyte hard drive on Friday, was hoping it would get delivered on Saturday but they were all "your shipping address is different than your billing address durr hurr" so they fucked it up awesomely, so here it is today. Then of course that takes up several hours of me playing with my new toy. Finally around 4ish I realize that pierogi making is going to be a Production so I figure I start early so they'll be ready early, and we can just boil and fry them up when it's dinner time. Well fast forward 4 hours later, and between the beet & chickpea salad, doing a double batch of pierogi (half to save for later), sending Grace to the store for Tofutti Sour Supreme, and Joni making gingered greens, plus carmelizing onions and figuring out how to boil, drain, and fry the pierogi in the right times was... whew. Anyway they turned out great, a little chewy but good, and people all enjoyed them.
Tomorrow I really REALLY need to get a full day in on the thesis. I'm just going to start writing the sections for the Netherlands. It would be nice to have that done in the next few days so that I can start editing the sections, maybe have other people read them, and get the other parts taken care of (like uh the whole America part, but also I don't know if I really have a literature review per se). I basically have 2 weeks, and I told Bob I'd put some edits into InDesign for the Redmond project I worked on last summer. It worked out well, I don't have time for the 20-40 hours he was originally asking for, but putting the edits in should be more along the lines of 6 hours I think.
Meanwhile I also have a meeting to attend on the 19th, and I do have to do some work on the contract for Tulalip, see where Eiko is with the maps, what else I need before our December meeting, and when we're having it. I also need to call Erica, catch up, hopefully hear awesome birthday stories and apologize for only facebook messaging her and not actually calling on her bday. I am SO lame. Also need to then ask her to do me a favor and get my ticket home set up for Xmas. Then talk about when I would come visit her. I'd still like to visit this late winter/early spring, I think it's very do-able.
Anyway! I hope you had a good day and I will talk to you tomorrow.
I bought a terabyte hard drive on Friday, was hoping it would get delivered on Saturday but they were all "your shipping address is different than your billing address durr hurr" so they fucked it up awesomely, so here it is today. Then of course that takes up several hours of me playing with my new toy. Finally around 4ish I realize that pierogi making is going to be a Production so I figure I start early so they'll be ready early, and we can just boil and fry them up when it's dinner time. Well fast forward 4 hours later, and between the beet & chickpea salad, doing a double batch of pierogi (half to save for later), sending Grace to the store for Tofutti Sour Supreme, and Joni making gingered greens, plus carmelizing onions and figuring out how to boil, drain, and fry the pierogi in the right times was... whew. Anyway they turned out great, a little chewy but good, and people all enjoyed them.
Tomorrow I really REALLY need to get a full day in on the thesis. I'm just going to start writing the sections for the Netherlands. It would be nice to have that done in the next few days so that I can start editing the sections, maybe have other people read them, and get the other parts taken care of (like uh the whole America part, but also I don't know if I really have a literature review per se). I basically have 2 weeks, and I told Bob I'd put some edits into InDesign for the Redmond project I worked on last summer. It worked out well, I don't have time for the 20-40 hours he was originally asking for, but putting the edits in should be more along the lines of 6 hours I think.
Meanwhile I also have a meeting to attend on the 19th, and I do have to do some work on the contract for Tulalip, see where Eiko is with the maps, what else I need before our December meeting, and when we're having it. I also need to call Erica, catch up, hopefully hear awesome birthday stories and apologize for only facebook messaging her and not actually calling on her bday. I am SO lame. Also need to then ask her to do me a favor and get my ticket home set up for Xmas. Then talk about when I would come visit her. I'd still like to visit this late winter/early spring, I think it's very do-able.
Anyway! I hope you had a good day and I will talk to you tomorrow.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Ohh, BooBoo...
DOOD, okay. New week, new list. A coupla new headaches to add.
I made a very recent realization that i haven't paid car insurance. In MONTHS. (The irony is that these realizations only occur to *good* drivers that never need to think about their insurance coverage.) These were one of those moments where the more i thought about the thought, the worse the situation got (or the more the bad situation presented itself). I thought:
- Why haven't i paid car insurance in so long? How did i forget?
Because i haven't heard from them in a while like i usually do.
- Why not?
Because the email address they have for me is the one i've been avoiding checking for the last couple of months, due to completely unrelated reasons.
- Well, but they were on auto-pay on the credit card.
Yes, but that was my old credit card, which expired in August. Which is about the time they would've notified me. Except they would've through email. Except that was around the time i started being avoidant of said email account.
HolyshitHolyshitHolyshit. F*CK.
So that needs to be dealt with, and ASAP. I don't want to deal with it. I don't even want to deal with my landlord situation when i'm 100% right.
I made a very recent realization that i haven't paid car insurance. In MONTHS. (The irony is that these realizations only occur to *good* drivers that never need to think about their insurance coverage.) These were one of those moments where the more i thought about the thought, the worse the situation got (or the more the bad situation presented itself). I thought:
- Why haven't i paid car insurance in so long? How did i forget?
Because i haven't heard from them in a while like i usually do.
- Why not?
Because the email address they have for me is the one i've been avoiding checking for the last couple of months, due to completely unrelated reasons.
- Well, but they were on auto-pay on the credit card.
Yes, but that was my old credit card, which expired in August. Which is about the time they would've notified me. Except they would've through email. Except that was around the time i started being avoidant of said email account.
HolyshitHolyshitHolyshit. F*CK.
So that needs to be dealt with, and ASAP. I don't want to deal with it. I don't even want to deal with my landlord situation when i'm 100% right.
Catch-Up Day
Today is catch-up day.
Thursday was spent doing more domestic stuff, less desk work.
Friday was spent going into the City til the early evening, then going out to the harvest and hanging out with friends.
Saturday was spent sleeping in a little, then all the rest of the day with J.
Yes, today is for redemption.
- Finish that cover letter.
- Install Word.
- Respond to P (email). This is the guy i've been emailing with from the veggie site, but with each email i'm losing interest (completely separate from having met someone else). Not too thrilled, but for some reason i feel bad just ending it.
I'm sure there are a ton other things i can and should do today, but i'll return and add when they come to mind.
- Oh yah, like finding out how to get prompts sent to me when new postings/comments are made here. How do i do that?
Thursday was spent doing more domestic stuff, less desk work.
Friday was spent going into the City til the early evening, then going out to the harvest and hanging out with friends.
Saturday was spent sleeping in a little, then all the rest of the day with J.
Yes, today is for redemption.
- Finish that cover letter.
- Install Word.
- Respond to P (email). This is the guy i've been emailing with from the veggie site, but with each email i'm losing interest (completely separate from having met someone else). Not too thrilled, but for some reason i feel bad just ending it.
I'm sure there are a ton other things i can and should do today, but i'll return and add when they come to mind.
- Oh yah, like finding out how to get prompts sent to me when new postings/comments are made here. How do i do that?
Plans Toward the Weekend
[I wrote this on Friday on my computer where i didn't have Internet access, so i'm posting it now. Maybe the fact that the contents are out of date make it obsolete and irrelevant for a to-do-list blog, but just trying to fill in the gap and tie me into Sunday plans. :]
Plans toward the weekend have changed a bit.
D had very recently told me that he's coming into NYC from LA. He arrived on Tuesday, and he has to be back at work in LA on Sunday morning so his stay is short and he (being D) has a lot of people to meet, and he only had time on Friday morning open. He'll be headed toward Connecticut later today, but rather than meeting up somewhere along the way (which is where i live), we decided it's easier if i came down to the City so that's what this morning was devoted to. It was a commuter train during commuting hours, which always gives me a glimpse as to what my life might be like if i work in the City (especially if i stay living with my parents). The Hudson Line is beautiful, especially this time of year as it follows alongside the river surrounded by autumn foliage with the cliffs and the crisp air, though this fare is so g-damned expensive (roundtrip could cost more then $30. This is also why i can't go into the City very often).
Anyway, Grand Central/the subways were INSANE, thanks to baseball. Dang Yankees fans - if i was indifferent about the game/teams before, i'm not anymore after today.
Met up with D, had brunch. It was great to see him and catch up. The last time we met may have been LA, 3.5 years ago. Seeing old friends has actually been the theme of this past year, it seems, starting with the high school 10th year reunion last November. This summer, i met up with more old friends in Japan (high school and SF). Then since moving back to Westchester, it's been everyone from kindergarten to CMU. Then of course there has been the travelling - like seeing you and Lauren and D&A. Much of this made possible by FaceBook. Oddly enough, very few run-ins with Cornell faces, and this may stay this way. Granted, that era was much more recent in my life, as well as shorter in duration, so that may be a lot of it.
Then i was in Midtown by J's workplace so we met up during lunch. Did go out last night on what was intended to be that non-date. It was fun and i enjoyed the socialization and company and the talking and the friendliness. - except he caught me off-guard at the end of the night with a kiss, and i was initially not too sure about it but we ended up making out. Oy. I guess it wasn't necessarily bad - i can use the loosening-up, probably deserve the fun, and afterall, it's been a while for me (S kissed me at a rate of about twice a year and had a heart made of ice shards), and the positive attention was pretty nice. I'm not necessarily the most attracted to him physically, but am drawn socially and mentally to him (goofiness and seriousness match pretty well), which is pretty cool. (Either that, or i felt too bad to stop it from happening so i'm justifying things in my mind. I have yet to decide which is the case.) We talked about where this was to go, and we both agreed to keep it fun and casual so that's probably where it'll eventually stop. I just hope that it actually stays fun and light, and that no one ends up changing their mind (for feeling more or feeling less) and getting hurt.
Anyway, so yah, since i was in the City (a rare occasion) and right around the corner from his work this afternoon after parting with D, we met up for lunch, and had another chunk of good time. There is talk of meeting up this weekend, if timing/logistics allow. This shall be extra fun for the following reason.
My supplier finally got back to me yesterday, and i shall be picking up a new batch this evening (and spice up social activities). H's roomie may be my new local buddy to enjoy the stuff with, and J definitely will be if i make it down to the City again. The distance does place a strain on such possibilities so i have to see.
I'm typing this on the train, in a car full of really loud and obnoxious teenagers. The adults (especially the ones who are standing because there aren't enough seats, taken up by said kids) are glaring, but they are either oblivious or don't give a shit. I wonder if i were ever this way in my youth. I may just not have been this social, but they really are irritating.
Well thankfully my stop is coming up in 3 minutes so ima pack up here.
Plans toward the weekend have changed a bit.
D had very recently told me that he's coming into NYC from LA. He arrived on Tuesday, and he has to be back at work in LA on Sunday morning so his stay is short and he (being D) has a lot of people to meet, and he only had time on Friday morning open. He'll be headed toward Connecticut later today, but rather than meeting up somewhere along the way (which is where i live), we decided it's easier if i came down to the City so that's what this morning was devoted to. It was a commuter train during commuting hours, which always gives me a glimpse as to what my life might be like if i work in the City (especially if i stay living with my parents). The Hudson Line is beautiful, especially this time of year as it follows alongside the river surrounded by autumn foliage with the cliffs and the crisp air, though this fare is so g-damned expensive (roundtrip could cost more then $30. This is also why i can't go into the City very often).
Anyway, Grand Central/the subways were INSANE, thanks to baseball. Dang Yankees fans - if i was indifferent about the game/teams before, i'm not anymore after today.
Met up with D, had brunch. It was great to see him and catch up. The last time we met may have been LA, 3.5 years ago. Seeing old friends has actually been the theme of this past year, it seems, starting with the high school 10th year reunion last November. This summer, i met up with more old friends in Japan (high school and SF). Then since moving back to Westchester, it's been everyone from kindergarten to CMU. Then of course there has been the travelling - like seeing you and Lauren and D&A. Much of this made possible by FaceBook. Oddly enough, very few run-ins with Cornell faces, and this may stay this way. Granted, that era was much more recent in my life, as well as shorter in duration, so that may be a lot of it.
Then i was in Midtown by J's workplace so we met up during lunch. Did go out last night on what was intended to be that non-date. It was fun and i enjoyed the socialization and company and the talking and the friendliness. - except he caught me off-guard at the end of the night with a kiss, and i was initially not too sure about it but we ended up making out. Oy. I guess it wasn't necessarily bad - i can use the loosening-up, probably deserve the fun, and afterall, it's been a while for me (S kissed me at a rate of about twice a year and had a heart made of ice shards), and the positive attention was pretty nice. I'm not necessarily the most attracted to him physically, but am drawn socially and mentally to him (goofiness and seriousness match pretty well), which is pretty cool. (Either that, or i felt too bad to stop it from happening so i'm justifying things in my mind. I have yet to decide which is the case.) We talked about where this was to go, and we both agreed to keep it fun and casual so that's probably where it'll eventually stop. I just hope that it actually stays fun and light, and that no one ends up changing their mind (for feeling more or feeling less) and getting hurt.
Anyway, so yah, since i was in the City (a rare occasion) and right around the corner from his work this afternoon after parting with D, we met up for lunch, and had another chunk of good time. There is talk of meeting up this weekend, if timing/logistics allow. This shall be extra fun for the following reason.
My supplier finally got back to me yesterday, and i shall be picking up a new batch this evening (and spice up social activities). H's roomie may be my new local buddy to enjoy the stuff with, and J definitely will be if i make it down to the City again. The distance does place a strain on such possibilities so i have to see.
I'm typing this on the train, in a car full of really loud and obnoxious teenagers. The adults (especially the ones who are standing because there aren't enough seats, taken up by said kids) are glaring, but they are either oblivious or don't give a shit. I wonder if i were ever this way in my youth. I may just not have been this social, but they really are irritating.
Well thankfully my stop is coming up in 3 minutes so ima pack up here.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
At Fuel in Wallingford (the one we never got to) to put approximately an hour or so's worth of work. I dropped Joni off in the rain (silly Seattleites, it's pouring and everyone just puts on a coat and hat. No raingear, no (almost no) umbrellas, just walking around wet and miserable). Took stupid routes back across I-5, waited at the longest light ever because of it, and still ended up getting to the hardware store to buy stuff for the garage and kitchen. Although I'm disappointed, I went there to support a local mom & pop business, and their selection and prices sucked as compared to IKEA. I feel bad feeling bad about that, but dude I was frustrated. Ah well, I gave them a shitload of money so that should be a mitzvah, as my kosher peeps would say.
So today I'm going to try to crank out a bit more on the feces, and then later go home and make a more simplistic version of the pasta. Not going to make the gnocchi, just make the sauce & sautee the delicata instead of roasting it for time's sake. I don't have time right now to do massive pumpkin gnocchi from scratch bullshite.
Also, I showered. Yay!
I have to make a list of things that I normally purchase at the grocery store, too. We're tweaking the 'shared food' system so that we don't overspend or have other people pay for stuff they never use. So we're going to see where our purchases actually overlap and use that as a basis. I was like dude we are professional planners, I think we can manage our food purchasing if we're going to be writing masterplans for cities. I love pulling that out. Like people, we have masters degrees in this! We can do it!
I think I totally stole this table from a girl who was eyeing it, but I didn't realize until I was getting set up and she walked away. Now I feel like an asshole. Too late though, we're both all set up. Ah well. Maybe that's my karmic reward for dropping a fitty at Tweedy & Pop's.
Oh by the way, I do very much appreciate the good morning texts! Even if I don't make full use of them I think it does help in a way. I just have to drink more water at night. I'm super dehydrated I think, or at least just not getting enough throughout the day, so if I have a bunch at night it just gets absorbed into my cells, haha. But yeah, big thank you for that, you're awesome.
So today I'm going to try to crank out a bit more on the feces, and then later go home and make a more simplistic version of the pasta. Not going to make the gnocchi, just make the sauce & sautee the delicata instead of roasting it for time's sake. I don't have time right now to do massive pumpkin gnocchi from scratch bullshite.
Also, I showered. Yay!
I have to make a list of things that I normally purchase at the grocery store, too. We're tweaking the 'shared food' system so that we don't overspend or have other people pay for stuff they never use. So we're going to see where our purchases actually overlap and use that as a basis. I was like dude we are professional planners, I think we can manage our food purchasing if we're going to be writing masterplans for cities. I love pulling that out. Like people, we have masters degrees in this! We can do it!
I think I totally stole this table from a girl who was eyeing it, but I didn't realize until I was getting set up and she walked away. Now I feel like an asshole. Too late though, we're both all set up. Ah well. Maybe that's my karmic reward for dropping a fitty at Tweedy & Pop's.
Oh by the way, I do very much appreciate the good morning texts! Even if I don't make full use of them I think it does help in a way. I just have to drink more water at night. I'm super dehydrated I think, or at least just not getting enough throughout the day, so if I have a bunch at night it just gets absorbed into my cells, haha. But yeah, big thank you for that, you're awesome.
Tasks and Parents
Woke up before 9:00 - yay. I was surprised because i went to sleep a lot later than i wanted, didn't fall asleep immediately, and it wasn't even the water trick that did it (tried it - either not enough water, or enough time in bed). That puts total sleep hours at <6, but probably not something that a coffee later in the day can't take care of. Gotta hit the sack earlier tonight though.
Just had a run of sudden assplosion myself. Wtf. Long-distance contagious bug! But maybe it was to get stuff running. I'd only been averaging one small meal a day for the last week or so (combined effect of mom avoidance and trying to save money while out) so maybe it was just time for its unorthodox exit strategy.
Dad was home when i got home yesterday, which surprised me because i had thought it was going to be today. After i was already tucked in/lights were out at around 3am, i realized i hadn't tended to the litter box in a few days, and not wanting to get shit for it from the man the next morning, i got out of bed and snuck to the basement to take care of it. Except that it had already been done! Geez, does this guy get off the 14-hour plane ride and have the immediate first thought of cleaning the litter box when he gets home? Actually, i wouldn't be surprised... And the fact that he didn't mention it yesterday at all scares me that it's a silent ticking bomb just waiting to be detonated at the most inopportune timing/situation later on (it's at least something that's most likely silently stressing him out). I'm honestly not that bad about looking after the litter box - just not as compulsive as he is (ie, more litter boxes than the number of cats, cleaned out daily or more often). If my parents just left me alone about such small things that i already have under control (like how my clothes in my drawers should be kept, how i shouldn't be outside the house after dusk, and how many hands should be on the wheel when i drive), i so many things can be so much simpler. But because they butt in, problems that don't exist are created and so are unnecessary stress and friction and seeds of arguments. What's more annoying is that, while i sincerely appreciate being able to live here (i honestly do!), stupid unnecessary shit like this easily translates into me "not being grateful enough", when in fact the two are completely unrelated issues, which then ties into a lot of internal guilt i drag along in life, which has probably caused many issues over the years in terms of my mental health. But i'm just starting to recognize/see/understand this phenomenon, so maybe that's at least a start to do something about it.
About to go run a load of laundry as my first task of the day. Then get dressed warmly to go outside and clean out the car, then maybe some desk work (cover letter). I'll probably call it the day around 3:00 and then hop in the shower and get ready to go out. But i'll be on and offline til then.
Just had a run of sudden assplosion myself. Wtf. Long-distance contagious bug! But maybe it was to get stuff running. I'd only been averaging one small meal a day for the last week or so (combined effect of mom avoidance and trying to save money while out) so maybe it was just time for its unorthodox exit strategy.
Dad was home when i got home yesterday, which surprised me because i had thought it was going to be today. After i was already tucked in/lights were out at around 3am, i realized i hadn't tended to the litter box in a few days, and not wanting to get shit for it from the man the next morning, i got out of bed and snuck to the basement to take care of it. Except that it had already been done! Geez, does this guy get off the 14-hour plane ride and have the immediate first thought of cleaning the litter box when he gets home? Actually, i wouldn't be surprised... And the fact that he didn't mention it yesterday at all scares me that it's a silent ticking bomb just waiting to be detonated at the most inopportune timing/situation later on (it's at least something that's most likely silently stressing him out). I'm honestly not that bad about looking after the litter box - just not as compulsive as he is (ie, more litter boxes than the number of cats, cleaned out daily or more often). If my parents just left me alone about such small things that i already have under control (like how my clothes in my drawers should be kept, how i shouldn't be outside the house after dusk, and how many hands should be on the wheel when i drive), i so many things can be so much simpler. But because they butt in, problems that don't exist are created and so are unnecessary stress and friction and seeds of arguments. What's more annoying is that, while i sincerely appreciate being able to live here (i honestly do!), stupid unnecessary shit like this easily translates into me "not being grateful enough", when in fact the two are completely unrelated issues, which then ties into a lot of internal guilt i drag along in life, which has probably caused many issues over the years in terms of my mental health. But i'm just starting to recognize/see/understand this phenomenon, so maybe that's at least a start to do something about it.
About to go run a load of laundry as my first task of the day. Then get dressed warmly to go outside and clean out the car, then maybe some desk work (cover letter). I'll probably call it the day around 3:00 and then hop in the shower and get ready to go out. But i'll be on and offline til then.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Today, Tomorrow, Weekend?
Today i wasn't super productive, but i did:
- locate a copy of Office, to be in my hands by tomorrow evening.
- revise my resume (just need said program to put in the corrections, tweak it a bit more, and it'll be ready).
- write up half my cover letter.
Tomorrow i shall:
- do some house stuff in the morning, like cleaning my room, laundry, clean out car, etc. (library opens late on Thursdays anyway so that works)
- try to finish up cover letter
- pick up James at the station in the early evening and go out for dinner.
On another note, though the end of the week is fast approaching, i wouldn't mind carrying through with this solidarity streak into the weekend since it's been working pretty well. Maybe not full days, maybe not both days (library closed on Sundays anyway) but since i at least feel the motivation/momentum right now, i'm alright with not killing it. Plus i did plenty of playing/sleeping last weekend, plus i totally took Monday off, so i'm feeling a-okay about doing some work over the weekend. Not sure what your thoughts are on this, but if you're down, feel free to join.
And with that, coffee shop is now closed so i'm heading home.
- locate a copy of Office, to be in my hands by tomorrow evening.
- revise my resume (just need said program to put in the corrections, tweak it a bit more, and it'll be ready).
- write up half my cover letter.
Tomorrow i shall:
- do some house stuff in the morning, like cleaning my room, laundry, clean out car, etc. (library opens late on Thursdays anyway so that works)
- try to finish up cover letter
- pick up James at the station in the early evening and go out for dinner.
On another note, though the end of the week is fast approaching, i wouldn't mind carrying through with this solidarity streak into the weekend since it's been working pretty well. Maybe not full days, maybe not both days (library closed on Sundays anyway) but since i at least feel the motivation/momentum right now, i'm alright with not killing it. Plus i did plenty of playing/sleeping last weekend, plus i totally took Monday off, so i'm feeling a-okay about doing some work over the weekend. Not sure what your thoughts are on this, but if you're down, feel free to join.
And with that, coffee shop is now closed so i'm heading home.
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